JAY LENO: please welcome trey parker, and matt stone!

(trey and matt haul ass out on to stage)

trey and matt ladies and gentlemen! the sigfried and roy of americn television. that was the fastest entrance-

TREY: we were gonna see if we could throw off your cameras. they followed us. they're amazing!

J: now if anythings gonna throw off the cameras..now this is uh..beautiful-

T: its a "versaychee"

J: a "versaychee"?

T: i got it at cesaers palace..

J:i thought it was bob "crappy" is what it is very nice..(to matt) and yours is lovely as well.

MATT: thank you, its trey's. he got it at cesaers palace i think.

J: just showing just a hint of chest hair which i like very much. now let me ask you something here. this is a little touchy.-do you guys uh know brooke (shields)?

T: yeah. see okay this is what happened-

M: trey drinks. first of all trey drinks-

T: we were at this party and uh..i had drunk..i drank a lot.

M: trey drinks

J: you drank a lot?

T: i don't a lot but at this party i did and brooke came up and i had never met her before and i mean (to brooke) your totally cool right? and she comes up and goes "i really like your show and i wanted to meet you" and what i'm thinking in my mind trying to be witty was "and now that i have i think you totally suck. right? like i was gonna finish her sentence" but all that came out was "you totally suck." and so..

BROOKE: "and you totally suck"

T: "and you totally suck"

B: so i was even now...there was no place for misunderstanding. "and you totally suck"

T: but like see i was finishing your sentence.

B: and i was like thank you

T: no you said "i'm a big fan nonetheless" and walked away and i was like "what?" and then my friends explained it to me the next day and i felt really bad so i am apologizing.

B: i..thank you thank you no hard feelings.

T: cause you don't suck, your awesome.

B: thank you. you don't suck either.

M: so don't drink kids!

T: yeah don't drink

M: don't drink

J: now this has probably done more to stop teenage drinking than almost anything just seeing you two. now the show has exploded its just gone bananas are you guys surprised at all this? your making gazillions of dollars-

T: no! we're not making gazillions of dollars

J: a hundred million

T: no

J: 1.5 billion..

T: see it came out, it came out some place that we made 15 (?) million dollars, which is-

M: everyone pictures like a check

T: yeah..

J: you didn't?

M and T: no, no

T: i mean we're getting like way better money than we did when we started and its totally cool and comedy central's been great to us. but like now all our friends are calling like" dude you made 15 million dollars. remember you said if you were ever really rich you'd buy me a boat"

M: i was drunk dude!

T: yeah i was drunk then!

B: tell them to call me

T: yeah! brooke's got all the money!

J: what kinda dough we talking? what kinda money?

T: it literally would break down to probably like still 50 grand a year..

M: mmm...15.

T: 15.

J: and then you have to split that between the two of you?

M: well yeah, and then your agents--

T: you gotta have the agents and the lawyers and the blahblahbblah. but we're having fun, i mean thats, you know..

J: how about your folks? have you done anything nice for them? now that you've made all these-

T: actually my folks, yesterday they left for their two week cruise in europe that i sent them on

J: oh thats pretty good. sent them on a cruise. awwwww

(crowd awwwws and applauds)

and matt??

M: i bought my mom a car.

J: oh thats pretty good

(crowd applauds)

M: we don't have any money

T: and we're not sellouts. thats what happens you make money and everyone is like "sellout!" and we haven't changed the show any i mean we haven't changed what we do but you just make money and people call you a sellout, and it hurts ..it hurts

M: i like being a sellout if its that.

J: but you know it doesnt hurt as much as not having any of the money.

T: thats true. people dont realize that matt and i have feelings...

J: yeah. well now the new season starts what next week?

T: it starts wednesday

J: it starts wednesday. that would be next week.

T: that would be next week.

M: the same day as "godzilla"..

T: yeah "godzilla" opens that night so we're gonna get like a .2 rating ..

J: you see your artists. you see the money is already talking.

T: no see but the ratings don't affect-

M: we just wanna see "godzilla". thats all.

J: tell people more about the new episodes?

T: well godzilla comes..no. this episode is about, there's one little character named kyle who's jewish, because matt's jewish.

M: what?

T: and his little brother ike, his little baby brother has to have his bris and be circumcised and kyle finds out what this means and panics.

J: now we have a clip here of this lovely heartwarming moment. this is like a little house on the praire kind of scene. a coming of age.

T: yeah

J: alright lets take a look

(they roll the clip)

J: let me ask you. did you guys-when you originally went in to pitch this show..i mean how? its seems like it'd be a hard sell..

T: actually the first time..when we first had the idea we knew we wanted to do this show about this town in south park, but we called it the mr. hankey show. and it was all about..cause there's this character who's a talking piece of poo named mr. hankey. and we're pitching it to an executive at fox actually and we're like "its a talking poo but he's got a sailors hat." and they were just like "umm...no" so then we revamped it and we came up with the name that..you know

M: we actually did the first 7 shows just to get to be able to put mr. hankey on the air,

J: really?

M: the whole point of south park was mr. hankey

J: so the artistic integrity stayed with you.

M: we worked a long time to get that mr. hankey on the air.

J: now how about you're movie? you've got this like featured lenghthed motion picture coming out. BASEketball?

T: we star in it-

M: yeah, but its not our movie , we acted in it.

T:david zucker you know he did airplane and naked gun and all that..

J: oh yeah! he's very funny.

T: he's totally cool. and we just act in it. the big misnomer is that south park got big and all of a sudden its like "oh act in our movie" but the truth is they asked us to act in this movie before south park was on the air. so we did it thinking alright no one would know who we are so who cares.

M: well we thought south park would be canceled too-.

T: yeah we thought we'd be like 6 episodes-

J: well i'm sorry to disappoint you.

T: no but its a cool movie..

J: will you come back for the movie?

T: yeah we'll come back for the movie we'll show a clip.

J: yeah we'll show a clip.

(matt and trey stayed out there for the remainder of the show but this is just their interview)